Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict
– William Ellery Channing.
We all face challenges, and sometimes it’s important to reflect on what they are and how we deal with them. For me, one of my biggest struggles is doing what I want to do when I want to do it. I’ll try to start a task, but quickly become overwhelmed by the number of steps involved or find myself unable to figure out where to begin. Sometimes, I start a task and then see another task that catches my attention, so I float to that one, and then another, because everything feels interconnected. By the end of the day, I’ve worked on several things, but nothing is completely done. Add adulting stress to the mix, with piles of things to do (also known as “doom piles”), and those small piles feel like mountains.
Back in 2022, I was meeting with a new personal provider to change my anxiety medications, who suggested I didn’t have anxiety, but rather ADD. Since then, I’ve experimented with stimulants, which worked for a while before losing their effectiveness. I’ve also tried other medications that didn’t help much. While I’ve been focusing on other areas of my health, I plan to address it again.
Most of the time, I manage to function fairly well, but I can come off as scattered and disorganized. It’s a struggle that’s relatable to many, but unfortunately, it has caused me to lose some potential clients, which I completely understand. To manage better, I’ve been getting help with organization and delegating work tasks where possible to reduce my mental workload.
I’ve also found support in groups with other providers who face similar challenges. A recurring comment I hear is, “Well, you’re a therapist, you should know how to fix this. Don’t you get training?” Yes, I’ve taken some trainings, and I have worksheets that help with prioritizing and organizing. These tools were ingrained in me during my school years, when I was labeled as lazy and misunderstood—told to function like everyone else. But when the brain is wired differently, and stress, trauma, and other experiences continue to reshape it, those worksheets and learned behaviors only go so far. We are human too, despite our training. While I’m actively learning how to help myself and receiving support from others, it’s a process. There’s no quick fix. And that’s okay.
