New year, new start, new you!

New year means new you, right?  Not necessarily!  You can be an enhanced you. The greatest wisdom i have been told for meeting people, interviewing for jobs, going new places, is to “be yourself”.

Sometimes we have to enhance our features,by doing our research  and putting a plan in action.  What is my new years resolution? i started at a gym with a black friday sale.  I even bit the bullet and signed up for a professional trainer.  Did i hit my new years goal of losing certain amount of weight? not quite, but i did make some progress and for my first goal both trainer and i agreed it was a good start!  My body has had a lot of stress done to it from living with cancer, enduring the chemo and the previous condition of endometriosis, so even starting to get in shape with floor exercises to increase mobility, flexibility and strengthening was alot to start in that short of time.  Thankfully each week (with exception of after christmas – oops) i did lose something, but most importantly i felt better!  my floor exercises were getting easier and gasp…boring!  i was even experimenting with the machines before the trainer officially brought it up in our once weekly meeting (carefully of course, small amounts of weight to try). Also noticed that my boots do not feel like ankle weights this winter, and normally they do (that is a fun experience, not have that heaviness around the ankles all season).

 As for my anxiety, i have an outlet to decrease the worrying. Not like i didn’t before, i have my arts and crafts, my video games, friends to vent to, but the exercising seems to help in a different way. I put away my phone and i focus on the floor exercises. i have to do so many rounds of each to work different muscles and then i do cardio for a certain amount of time while keeping track of my breathing and my heartrate, then i go to the machines depending on the day with my work out schedule and focus on form and weights so that i dont hurt myself by overdoing it or handling the machines wrong.  Really exersizing to me is a form of meditation. I personally don’t know how people can be on their phones while still doing a good workout. Maybe after im “officially in shape” ill be able to as well?  until then, im ok people watching, watching the tvs, listening to the gym music (can’t seem to get music on my phone and headphones distract me ) or talking with a friend while we do the cardio together. The repetitiveness of the floor exersizes and trying to hit my step goal through fitbit help keep me focused.  Seeing the scale going down helps to but its only added incentive.  I can’t wait till i can feel healthy and look healthy- My new self, still me, only a better version of myself.

What do you find to be meditative to help with your anxiety, or depression?