Shakey shakey

So lately I have been stressed with school, my internship and recent knee pain.  My next pet scan is in march and im afraid my nerves have cracked and my fears of my cancer coming back are taking over.   I tried to start pt but it hurts so I havent been able to continue.   By accepting that im afraid though it seems to lessen the fear because then I can think how silly it is and continue staying positive that it is normal pain from the joint damage I had due to the cancer.

I started applying to jobs this week!  Its adding to the stress and my worries but at least those nerves are more exciting then the negative thoughts that keep pushing through.  I cant stand the thought of having to find out its back aand having to tell my young nephew. Hes very brave and strong for 8  (5 @ the time)  but I know how much he misses me at school and how nervous he gets when he hears I have doc appts.   He trys not to show it but being 8 its easy to tell.   I also really don’t want to go through chemo again.

The chemo made me feel like shit.  And thats all for now .