When I think about my scan in march or my knee hurting, yes I get nervous and shaky .  The chemo makes one feel likr a giant floating glob with fuzzy surroundings and requires an occasional bucket. 

Everyone handles the chemo differently though. One of the first things my doc told me was every individual is different. The genetic differences mix with the drugs and that helps determine the healing process.   This is why some people gain weight, lose weight, lose or keep their hair or have differences in their confusion and communication. 

For me I had an interesting time with communication.  My words came out weird so a lot of the time my parents would nod and smile. They told me later its because I made no sense. (There is a technical name for this! It escapes me at the moment)

Another thing that scares me though is hearing about people around me having trouble.  Being sick is no fun and lonely and can be downright scary.  Saying the word cancer in general is scary . Its not something someone wants to say or experience.  Ive been reading a book about the history of cancer, and one thing that helps reassure me is that todays medical advances have grown much in the past few decades.

Anesthesia for procedures is better, nausea pills have advanced to assist along side treatment to keep away the bucket ( I didnt need it till half way through, but my doc said having a healthy appetite helped there to)  sleeping pills for the insomnia associated with treatment have been advancing as well.

One thing that bothers me though was this week .  I happen to have heavy insomnia.  I recently neeeded new pills because the last ones prescribed didnt work for me.  My school health ctr recently lost my physician (who was also the director and only one able to prescribe at this small facility)  so I couldnt go there, so I called home and was told because im currently out of state they could not prescribe me any controlled substances. 

After two in half weeks on 3 hrs of sleep I was starting to crack with stress from school.  Luckily Walgreen s had my back with over the counter unisom!  I was able to enjoy sleep all last night into this morning ! Glorious sleep, no thanks to the healthcare system. 

Mostly though,  I am greatful for tosays medical advancements for me and those around me!