Parenting, like adulting or any stage of life, does not come with an instruction booklet.
Being a “fur baby” parent to my dogs and cats, the dozen or so dogs I fostered, has been an experience. From a professional side as a pediatric therapist to the human children I have worked with, has also been an experience. Both experiences make me have gratitude for my quiet time.
We grow up in different environments, with different experiences- socially, emotionally, physically. Like in sessions- I can have ten clients with a General Anxiety diagnoses and they can each present in ten different ways. With these experiences, they shape our world view and how we interact with the world, influence the choices we make and the habits we form.
When an individual has grown up in an environment it will influence their parenting, just like how their parents grew up in certain environment and their parents before them. The world has changed so much over the last few decades, going from closed off to extremely open in a relativly “short” period of time, and as we all know change is hard.
Is “change is hard” a “good enough” excuse? No, not by any means. Food for thought however- when one has not had any instruction book, or someone to guide them in choice making, adapting choices, seeing situations in other perspectives, how are they to know other ways exist? Its important to remember not everyone has the same experiences, and to some extent have empathy.
What we have in our control when coming across individuals or different styles (for example parenting styles) is offer perspective, suggestions, be mindful of feelings and how it might be taken, offer support, be a listening ear, ask how you can help, what might they need to help them pending the situation and circumstances?
In some cases, you may not have any of these options and may just need to walk away, and take care of you knowing you have no options and it is not helpful or healthy to focus on what you cannot control.
I understand This is a hot topic, and my intention is to not cause anger or grief, and by no means am I professional on parenting, I can only offer a perspective, and we may not agree and that’s ok. I hope that we both can find a way to take care of ourselves knowing there is only so much we can control in our lives and how much we can influence others.
